Serial Madness

I was reading the newspaper the other day when I saw this article about Charles Sobhraj, the smooth talking, mad serial killer.
This guy has committed 12 known murders, mostly women, plus god knows how many other murders that he hasn't bragged about yet.
Anyway, this news article mentioned his fiancee, a girl who's just finished her 12th standard exams.
What is it with girls and crazy psychotic men? Is that the reason girls aren't attracted to me?
Maybe I should go knock off a couple of stupid American tourists in Goa and brag about it.
This is absolute madness, really!
This girl MUST know about all of Sobhraj's murders and other flings and murdered wives.
What does she think? There is something special about her that is going to change the ways of a raving mad serial killer?
For Crying out loud, he's been at this for longer than she's been alive!
Anyway, lets see how long she stays alive.

Oh, her mother is Sobhraj's lawyer. So I suppose the mother is thinking of deceiving the court by allowing her daughter to marry a convict.
She'll give a heart-felt speech and say :
"Your honour, My daughter is going to marry this man.
Do you think I would allow that to happen if I thought he was a mad fucking psychotic killer who's killed 12 or more people? Of course not. I know he's just a poor old man who's slightly retarded and who's been persecuted by the entire world for the last 50 years. Your honour, you must believe me.
This man is innocent of all these crimes! Please release him from life imprisonment so that my daughter can have the dream wedding she's always wanted using all the money her fiancee has(from his murders)."
*Bows to the crowd who are in tears, standing and applauding this fine performance*

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Sobhraj
For a great read. As good as a book, must shorter, and you know its true.
Mad people do exist in this world of ours. Hurrah for excitement and bikini killers.

WTF!

WTF does wtf stand for!

WTF! - One of the most commonly used acronyms in the universe today, especially in the outer regions of the Canis major constellation - in the doggy star Sirius(where the original acronym expanded to "Where's the FOOD") , and the acronym that was voted the most politically correct acronym by the WTFederation of politically correct acronyms.

If you are wondering WTF I'm talking about, you must either be George Bush or the little giraffe that escaped from the Timbuctoo Zoo last week(Go back to your mommy, you little freak!)

Now for WtFact of the day! The moment you've all been waiting for (since the same time yesterday)

-The largest Man-made WTF is the Great wall of China! When seen from the dark side of the moon, using a convex mirror and through the glass of an empty Vodka bottle, you can clearly see the letters "WTF" written in an old Mandarin script that was stolen from Canada back in November 1976.(Rumours that the entire Great wall of China was transported from the Ottawa province in Quebec Canada in October 1975 are currently under investigation by the WTFBI)

-The largest ever WTF in the universe is, shockingly, hidden in the Ursa Major.
(Click to expand)
The extremely clever ancient Greek philosophers made up the story about the Great Bear to cover up the real truth behind this wonderful constellation. They knew that every kid in the universe would look up at the night sky at the Ursa major and say "WTF! I don't see any goddamn bear!" And right away, the truth would dawn on them and they would never mention this again to anyone, anywhere. Thus, a balance is established and the universe remains stable as ever.

That's all for this edition of WtFact of the day. Thank you for your attention.
Next up on this network - the new hit reality show "Unguja" from the super-posh party island of Zanzibar, off the coast of Afghanistan. Stay tuned!

Road Trip!

13 May 2008

(Pune - Lonavala)

0535: Alright!
Tuesday Morning, 0535 hours, 13-May '08.
Trip odo on Zero, Main odo on 44099.3



Here we go!

0620 : Damn, I'm bad at this. Right hand has gone numb already(should explain the extra bad handwriting) I'm actually shivering. It is cold and dusty.



Odo reads 44138.1. That's 38 Km at an average of about 60. Good thing I got out of Pune early. Not as early as I wanted to though. As Abhi'd say, I'm always late.

Haha! Just got passed by a lactating truck. Will follow and try and get a picture.
Back in a bit!

0640: Dammit! Missed her. She took the expressway(As I deduced from the milk trail. heh)
Stopped again because I am shivering so bad. Felt like I would lose control.
Sun's up and shining now, so I am feeling much better, thank you very much.



Oh well, 40 Km to Lonavala. Think I'll go get some breakfast now.
Poha! Yay!

Lonavala, Khandala

0730: Lonavala! What an awesome road.
I don't know if it is as beautiful as this in the evening. But morning's are pretty special anyway.



Stopped for breakfast now at a place called "GuruKrupa". Going to have Dosa and Tea.
They don't have poha. :(

This place is dotted with Chikki shops. I think I ought to try some or maybe buy some for home, but I just don't have the space to carry anything extra.
God! I'm still shivering slightly. Ahh! Tea has never felt so good. My hands are slowly thawing. Now I know why people recommend riding gloves.
Will ask the guy at the counter about places I should visit here.
My Dosa is here! Ta!
Damn! That was awesome. Going to go take a pic of this place from the outside.

The Sambar was stunning. Maybe because I was so cold. Feeling dandy now! Time to check out Lonavala!



0845: Somewhere in Khandala.

Didn't get to see much in Lonavala. Went to some Dam nearby but they said I couldn't take a camera in. Anyway, here I am sitting on some rocks a few feet from the highway and a few meters from the expressway. Amazing view, with all the hills.
The roads are so busy!


0855: I just don't feel like moving from here. The slightly distant sounds of traffic is sort of soothing! (something only people who've lived in cities their entire life will understand)

People are staring at me sitting here without a care in the world wondering wtf I'm upto.
This stretch of highway is so awesome.
I'm sheltered from most of the noise from the highway nearer to me by a big rock face. And there's this lovely breeze blowing from the hills nearby.
Maharashtra truly is blessed!
Two guys walking towards my bike. Phew. They walked on.

I'm worried some louse might run off with my bag(which only has a couple of t-shirts, a towel and a bedsheet. Oh! and a couple of books too.(Tom Holt is so good!)) or my helmet(I'm kidding myself here. That thing is so tattered and battered that I should be paying someone to steal it from me!)
I wonder when I'm going to get bored of this place and get on my bike again.
Pen down for now. Time to enjoy the serene sounds of hundreds of four-stroke engines pulling themselves up the hill slopes.

Towards Matheran

0945: It's getting slightly hot now that I'm down in the plains. Not for too long though. Should be getting to Matheran pretty quick. Just thought I'd update the log. And more importantly, I really needed to pee!
That tree was a couple of inches shorter a few minutes back!

Ah, sun's out from behind the clouds. Time to get going to the music of CCR.



1020: Photo stop. 12 Km from Matheran.
Couple of buffaloes bathing in a pond. Oh, and one Maruti Van and one motorbike too!

1047: Didn't get the buffaloes in the picture. They're touchy about being photographed! :P
Another photo stop now. Enroute to Matheran, climbing up the hill.
lol! The maharashtra tourism board works on Unix!
Hah! I'd have done it in the second gear if I hadn't stopped to take the photo! :P

Matheran!

Odo: 44245

1200: Bah! Major Bah!
Had to struggle so much to get a room here.
Apparently people don't like giving guys who are alone a room.
This old man tells me "I'd have given you a room if you were with friends or with a girl, but you are alone."
It seems there've been three cases of suicide here in Matheran. What kind of a stupid fart would come to a beautiful place like this and kill himself with Baygon! Anyone that stupid deserves to die a worse death. Eat up his own head or something. Like whatshisname? Criss Angel? David Blaine! Ah, yes! Southpark. lol.
So one lady said she'll take Two Thousand Rupees for a room. And then even before I could say bugger off, she changed her mind and said she couldn't give it to me because someone else had already booked it.

And here I am now, finally, in a room. Sitting on a bed that has been used countless times for sex and thinking of the sort of idiots who come to this place. Lousy horny perverts and fucking suicidal losers.
Can't people travel just for the love of seeing new places? Craziness!

Anyway, I paid this guy 550 for this room. Which is way way more than I thought I would spend. Just one day here in Matheran for sure. And I'm not coming back unless I'm very rich and have company!
I just hope this place is worth all this trouble.(I had to explain to this dude about why I'm on holiday, and had to convince him that I'm generally very happy with my life and definitely not suicidal!(unless of course he denies me a room too))
Oh well, now that I've changed and washed up, its time to go sightseeing and get dusty!

1240: Talk about daylight robbery and forest bandits.
This is getting ridiculous. Alright, it's a forest! Doesn't mean you cheat the poor tourist out of all his money! The prices on this menu would have been plain funny if only someone else was paying.
This is turning out to be a bad idea. Should've known the damn people would have commercialized everything they could!
God, I'm hungry!
There's a toy train here. I hope I get a ticket. It should be pretty good. Hopefully it won't be too crowded.
No vehicles allowed here in Matheran. Wish they'd turn off the damn radio.
Anyway, the effect was slightly weird while I was walking up from the parking lot(3 Km away) Until I heard a plane overhead. Maybe they should make the airspace over here pollution free too!
Some nutcase just asked me if I'm writing "notes". I shook my head No, and he says "Writing a diary is not bad. It is good"
Now what can I say to that? I just nodded! The next time someone asks, I'm going to say I'm writing my memoirs.
Dammit! So hungry! I want my food!!

1340: No tickets for today's train. Will try early tomorrow. Very crowded anyway.
Sitting at a place called Madhavji point. Niceish place until you stand close to the edge. That's when it becomes garbage-dump point.
This is one of the few places I've seen where people can make out without being chastized by older(or even younger) moral police. But that's because all the would-be moral police are busy making money off the make-outers.
Bleh. Hate crowds. Especially noisy ones. Hate people in general actually. Wish I was a dog.
Oh well. Time for a few pics and then I'm off to the next place.

1440: I walked down a small village path where I finally got away from all the people.
I guessed everyone was on a guided tour of the place. So they'd only go on the main paths and lookout points. But as I neared a lake, I heard voices and decided to take the closest exit route. Through the forest. Found myself a nice little stick and trekked through about 3Km of forest. Ended up near this ancient and abandoned bunglow.
Windows boarded up and all, but it must've been a very nice place once upon a time. What a view from the verandah! Overlooks a valley. Simply amazing.

I tried getting down to the edge, but ended up slipping too much. Found another way down and ended up here.
The most stunning view ever!
One huge valley, three hills, one cliff of sorts and a lake bang in the centre. I wish I knew how to take better pictures because nothing I take can ever do justice to this.

So I was walking down the little path beside the drop, acutely aware of the fact that I could hear no human sounds. None at all. Then I see a pair of legs sticking out of the bushes about 100m from me. Sorry to sound so dramatic, but that's exactly how it was. Thought I should go check if he was in trouble or dead or something.

Saw that he was breathing, heaved a sigh of relief and went further down the path looking for a place for me to sit and write.

This is slightly eerie. The sound of the forest behind me-birds chirping and leaves rustling, the ocean-like sound of the wind through the trees on my left. And the drop-dead silence of the vast emptiness in front of me. Something I'm sure I will never forget!

I wonder where the sun'll go down. I just want to sit here until its dark, but I won't be able to find my way back. Even worse, I'll probably just walk off the drop here in the dark. It'll be a nice 20 seconds down though. Freefalling! Tom Petty had no idea what he was singing about.
Stairway to..um...somewhere
lol!
1908: Long walk back to my 550 Rupee room, tried to read a book but fell asleep. Think I'll go out for a bit now, just to see what happens here in the dark.


2100: Ate a decent dinner, not too expensive too. Well, its been a long day. Feel like I've walked almost as much as I rode.
Sleep time. Have to wake up early to catch the first train to Neral. Should be fun.
Later!

Matheran to Raigad

14 May '08

0940 :
Woke up late. Around 7:30. Ended up playing a game of "guess the song" with my music player last night(shuffle!)
No morning train, and all the trains are booked except the one in the afternoon.
So now I am on 'sour grapes' mode. The train is too crowded anyway. I don't want to take it down.

Long walk back to the parking lot, and my legs feel like two large lumps of hard rubber. Stopped for lime juice. Time to go now.

1055 :
Rode 9 Km down Matheran without even turning on the engine. Stopped for food now, near Kartaj. Going to pen(pronounced pain).


1325: Covered a lot of road so far. Finally stopped for lunch need to check a map and see how far the sea is from here. Maybe I'll call someone and find out.

1553: Think I've been riding too much today. Was riding beside a river for a while on the way to Pen. Took a couple of photos. Then we broke up. :(

Lovely highway, this one. Even though it's just a single lane, it is very pleasant. Tree covered, beside a river, and hardly any traffic.


I've reached Mahad now. Beside a(nother?) river. Sitting at the bank actually. Was feeling sleepy, that's why I decided to stop. Wanted to ride on till Raigad which is 30Km or so from here, but didn't want to fall asleep on the bike and deny me the chance of...um...writing this? Something anyway. :P

Need to check with someone for directions again. Road's split.
Think I'll just sit here for a little while.