Monday 27 April 2009

I Love You 2

Hey.
I had a great time last night.
Thanks so much for spending the evening with me.
It's not often I get to be seen with the most beautiful girl in the city.
No, really. I don't know if I told you enough times. You're stunningly beautiful.
I have a confession to make. I wanted to wait until tonight to tell you, but I can't wait.
I think I'm falling in love with you.
Though I'm sure you've heard that a lot.
haha, I thought so.
I feel so good when I'm around you. It's like you understand everything I say and you know exactly what I've been through. I've never felt so close to anyone ever. It's magical really.
And then when you speak to me, I just lose myself in those beautiful black eyes of yours. It's like I'm staring into two mesmerizing reflections of everything that is right in the world.
Oh yeah, I love those nights we've spent together.
All those long conversations we've had. About life, philosophy, love, friendship and beyond.
Yeah, the universe and everything. All that.
It's amazing how alive I feel when I'm with you. You know what I mean?
Yeah, just like that. Especially when we finally realise it's dawn and the first sun beams sneak past the curtains and we're just lying there waiting for sleep to catch up with us. It's like we're part of a little secret and no one will ever know what it is.
Okay, I admit it. I'm in love with you. I've fallen for you. Hard.
Really? You love me too?
No way...
Really?
I mean...that can't be. I knew you liked me, but I never...
Wow, when did this happen?
Just now? Oh, come on.
I sound upset? Surprised maybe.
Well, to be honest I never expected this.
Yeah, you were always this thing of beauty, this perfect girl against whom I can compare anyone in the world, and no one would ever come close. You are amazingly intelligent, you are beautiful. Oh so beautiful...the sort of beauty weird old poems are written about. You are...perfection...unattainable perfection.
That's what I mean. You are the sort of girl I'd expect to see with some ungrateful prick, who has no idea how lucky he is.
Thanks? What...?No, that wasn't meant to be a compliment. I'm trying to think here.
I don't know about this now. I never thought I'd hear you say "I love you too".
I just don't get it. There's something wrong here.
Oh, is there something wrong with you?
Come on, lets hear it...There couldn't be too many reasons a brilliant, beautiful girl like you would settle for a complete tool like me.
So, what is it?
No I'm not kidding. I'm dead serious here.
Stop laughing. I'm not fooling around. What's wrong with you then?
Do you have a police record?
Do you murder poor lonesome guys who are infatuated with you and take all their money?
No? Well then, have you always been a girl? Did you ever have a wee-wee? Huh? Is that it?
Hello? Hello?
Are you there?
Damn phone line. I almost had her. Dammit.
I'll get you, bitch. I'll get you if it's the last thing I do. Just you wait.
*redials*

Thursday 23 April 2009

Look, a piece of Crap!

Okay, since I had promised to depress everyone with some old poems(for lack of a better and uncensored word)...Here is one.
A couple of quick warnings though.
- Vogon poetry, for people familiar with the Vogons from Vogsphere, was until now described as "the third worst poetry in the universe".
- I am in no way responsible for any mishaps, sudden cases of chronic depression or maniacal laughter that may arise from reading the following...actually, I don't mind being responsible for the maniacal laughter, but let's keep it down okay, people are trying to sleep.
Enough yakking. Here's one called...

Found

Life's a sad song
with no time for fun,
where there is too much to do
and none of which is done.

The space is never enough,
the light is too dark.
However hard you try,
your shot is off the mark

The tunnel is long and dark
with seemingly no end
but as you walk along,
you discover a bend.

Suddenly there is light
where dark lived before.
You move faster now
towards the open door.

Finally you burst through
into the burning light
where knowledge kills ignorance
like the sun kills the night.

With a path in mind
you forge steadily ahead
with things to do in life
before you end up dead.

~


There's a footnote here. Apparently it took me exactly two minutes to write this thing.

The last paragraph makes me smile. I wonder what was going through my head.

Wednesday 15 April 2009

Let's Note! (That's Not - Vote in one catchy two word phrase!)

Election fever grips the world's Greatest Democracy!!
So?
How has it affected me? Well, for one, politics is suddenly the only thing people want to talk about. And since I play the role of listener in most conversations, I now know who the ruling party is, why the roads haven't been repaired in the last five years, and why liquor is so damn expensive nowadays.
Also, I've been getting messages on my alarm clock. I have this alarm clock that I could use as a phone if I ever needed one, but I have never needed to. Anyway, I now have messages from a 100 different parties or candidates or something, and none of them make much sense. My favourite is the one that goes something like "No money? No job? No work?..." I don't remember the rest, but it was hilarious. Oh, yesterday I even got a phone call. A recorded message of course, but it felt so good to pick up the little vibrating thing and listen to a tinny voice coming out of the little speaker.

Anyway, I am no believer in the sort of democracy we have. Personally, I'd be really happy to see new forms of rule. Maybe something like Enlightened Absolutism or something. And since we're such a large country, we could have a despot(enlightened, of course) per small area and a monarch as a figurehead?
Oh, who cares. Time to move on from the little dreams of little people, on to the topic of discussion.

Six reasons why you really shouldn't vote :
1. You get little black ink marks on your finger that just won't get rubbed off. (Unless you use a matchstick dipped in kerosene (or water) )
2. You spend time travelling to and from the voting parlour(Is it really called that?).
3. You spend money and petrol and all those terribly environment-unfriendly things that are associated with above acts of spending money and petrol and time.
4. You can't vote even if you wanted to. A week back, I was given, by the government, this amazing voter ID card with someone else's photo on it, when I didn't even apply for it. And half the people I know who have applied, out of some sudden, inexplicable sense of patriotism and love for the country, haven't received their ID's yet. (And the election is tomorrow apparently. Spend your holiday at home. Really!)
5. If you really love your country, you won't vote. 'Why?', you ask...well, if the entire country doesn't vote, someone somewhere with some power will finally realise something is wrong, and maybe we'll have to replace democracy with something else that might work. Couldn't get much worse anyway, why not give it a shot?
6. The person elected isn't really the best candidate around. Though his biryani cook and toddy producers are likely to be the best in the state.

Let this be the start of a revolution.
Don't vote 2009! Or Dote 2009! (more catchy two word phrases).
As inventor and overseer of this great project or revolution, I shall have absolute power when the revolution comes. I shall make history! The first revolution against a democratic government ever! And I will be the supreme leader for life!(or until I get bored and decide to travel a little (which, knowing me, will be within a couple of days))
Be wary of what you think and say from today, because the first people against the wall will be those who report this post as "objectionable content" and write silly comments.

Monday 6 April 2009