Let's Note! (That's Not - Vote in one catchy two word phrase!)

Election fever grips the world's Greatest Democracy!!
So?
How has it affected me? Well, for one, politics is suddenly the only thing people want to talk about. And since I play the role of listener in most conversations, I now know who the ruling party is, why the roads haven't been repaired in the last five years, and why liquor is so damn expensive nowadays.
Also, I've been getting messages on my alarm clock. I have this alarm clock that I could use as a phone if I ever needed one, but I have never needed to. Anyway, I now have messages from a 100 different parties or candidates or something, and none of them make much sense. My favourite is the one that goes something like "No money? No job? No work?..." I don't remember the rest, but it was hilarious. Oh, yesterday I even got a phone call. A recorded message of course, but it felt so good to pick up the little vibrating thing and listen to a tinny voice coming out of the little speaker.

Anyway, I am no believer in the sort of democracy we have. Personally, I'd be really happy to see new forms of rule. Maybe something like Enlightened Absolutism or something. And since we're such a large country, we could have a despot(enlightened, of course) per small area and a monarch as a figurehead?
Oh, who cares. Time to move on from the little dreams of little people, on to the topic of discussion.

Six reasons why you really shouldn't vote :
1. You get little black ink marks on your finger that just won't get rubbed off. (Unless you use a matchstick dipped in kerosene (or water) )
2. You spend time travelling to and from the voting parlour(Is it really called that?).
3. You spend money and petrol and all those terribly environment-unfriendly things that are associated with above acts of spending money and petrol and time.
4. You can't vote even if you wanted to. A week back, I was given, by the government, this amazing voter ID card with someone else's photo on it, when I didn't even apply for it. And half the people I know who have applied, out of some sudden, inexplicable sense of patriotism and love for the country, haven't received their ID's yet. (And the election is tomorrow apparently. Spend your holiday at home. Really!)
5. If you really love your country, you won't vote. 'Why?', you ask...well, if the entire country doesn't vote, someone somewhere with some power will finally realise something is wrong, and maybe we'll have to replace democracy with something else that might work. Couldn't get much worse anyway, why not give it a shot?
6. The person elected isn't really the best candidate around. Though his biryani cook and toddy producers are likely to be the best in the state.

Let this be the start of a revolution.
Don't vote 2009! Or Dote 2009! (more catchy two word phrases).
As inventor and overseer of this great project or revolution, I shall have absolute power when the revolution comes. I shall make history! The first revolution against a democratic government ever! And I will be the supreme leader for life!(or until I get bored and decide to travel a little (which, knowing me, will be within a couple of days))
Be wary of what you think and say from today, because the first people against the wall will be those who report this post as "objectionable content" and write silly comments.