What I want to do with my life : A Retrospective.

10 Year old me :
I want to fly planes. I'm going to join the AirForce when I grow up! I'll soar high up in the vast blue sky like an eagle. Alone, all alone, in my beautiful mig-21, leaving behind me a white steak of jet vapour cutting across the sunset that school kids will see. And they will all wish they could be up here someday, living the life of a hero.
Miles below me I see fields of gold and beautiful blue lakes that look like little droplets of dew early in the morning, sunbeams shining off the surface. Far below my wings live thousands of people. Normal people, living their normal lives, living each day as it comes, not knowing the exuberance of flight. Not knowing the power that comes with every moment you spend in the air. Not knowing that I have, attached to the underside of my wings, missiles capable of razing their entire normal town with all their normal lives to dust! Fire one, Fire two. Die! Die! Haha! Now they know my power! Never will they forget me! I am the scourge of all evil. You fight against my beloved country, you die, Punks!
Ah, the power that comes with flying! Yeah, that's what I'm going to do. I am going to fly jets for the AirForce!

12 Year old me :
How do you become an astronaut?

Early High School me :
I don't care what I do with my life, I just want to own a BMW.
(Looking back, this was probably when my brain peaked. I was really smart back then. After that it's all just gone downhill)

End of High School me :
Okay, what the fuck is going on? I have no idea what I'm supposed to do.

Early Days of College me :
Seriously, what the fuck!?

College me (2) aka Doe-eyed me - Ah, when we were young. And stupid (also spelt Idealist.) :
I'm going to do something good. The world is fucked up and someone has to do something about it. I don't know how, but it doesn't matter. I'm smart, I'm young, I've got time on my side and I will figure something out. I know I will.

College me (3) - ah, when we were young. And stupid. And a little greedy. :
How will I change the world if I have nothing to do it with?
I'm going to need money, power and a fancy car. There's no way I can do anything without a fancy car. So this is the plan. I land a big job with a big fat salary, I become rich and powerful and then I'll save the world. The world is fucked up and someone has to do something about it. I now know how I'm going to go about it, and that's good.

College me (4) - The reality seeps through :
People are disgusting. Just look at all the news. People don't deserve good things. Just look at all the shit that is happening. There's no way I can change all that. I...I'm not sure. I don't know. Lets see. I really hope I can do something.

College me (5) - And then the doubt comes creeping in:
I've been so stupid. How is it going to matter what I do? I'm just one person. And even if I do manage to do some good, what then? Who cares? I need to grow up. It's too early to think of things like this. I'll know what I want to do with my life when I'm older and more mature.

College me (6) aka Cynical me :
Screw everyone else. All these bloody do-gooders are just fakers looking to make a quick buck. Goddamn manipulative bastards. I'm going to do what's good for me. Fuck the world. I don't care anymore.

College me (7) aka Pessimistic me :
It doesn't matter. It's not like I have a choice anyway. What's going to happen will happen and it's probably going to be crap. Sigh.

College me (8) aka The Real me (or so I thought) :
Everything sucks! I don't care about the world. I'm going to travel. I'm going to hitchhike across the country. I'll work my way through life. I'm going to visit all the places I can and I'm going to live there for as long as I can. I'll travel. I'll work as a waiter in the cities, I'll manage some labour in the towns, and I'll write letters or teach or something in the villages. I'm going to experience life the way nobody does. None of this damn sit at an office for 8 hours crap for me. No way. That's not what I want. I'm not going to settle down. I'll jump into random streams, I'll climb random hills and I'll talk to random trees.
This is what I want to do with my life. I'm finally sure. I'm going to be a homeless, penniless, rambling bum.

End of College me : Ah fuck everything! I just want to fly planes! I'm going to join the Airforce!

Present me : I think I'm going to go get some pizza. And a really thick vanilla milkshake with loads of chocolate chips. Yes. That's what I'm going to do. Want to come? Your treat. (or mine. Either way. Whatever.)