A long time

Alright, howdy, what's been happening. No time long see.

"In the time that has past, I am not sure if I have grown wiser, but I am sure I have grown older."
Who was it that said that? You? Me? Anyway, very wise.

A hurrah for my welcome into the second of the three quarters of my life. With elderly wisdomous age comes a certain amount of cynicism and random hate. I'm sure you will have noticed it about yourself by now.
Not that I'm accussing anyone, mind. Just saying.

So what is it with people? What's with the attitude dude? Is the ego from all the insecurities? Everyone who looks at you isn't trying to intimidate you, you don't need to establish eye-superiority.
Chill out a bit on the road, fellas. I like to slow down near traffic lights so I don't hit an old lady crossing. Don't honk so loud.

Saw some dudes get in a fight
late in the night (this is now a rap song)
pants all tight coz the rhythm ain't right
Breakin' bricks, breakin' bricks over anybodys head
Running through the traffictrying to save themselves
bleeding all over my
freshly washed shirt.
Bitches. (end of song. Get the funk out now. Turn off the funk I say sir.)

So yeah, stop eye-balling me all the time. Smile a little. Be cool dude.

It's the death of commercial cinema when you fill a theater with a hundred people and show them about half an hour of smoke, fire and clouds, 20 minutes of close up shots of every character. No conversation in the movie until about 40 minutes in. The audiences were last seen applauding the damage done to their little brains while old ladies discuss scenes that were done so well that most people apart from them wouldn't have gotten it. I think a video of me tearing a 500 rupee note excruciatingly slowly, for 2 hours, with downcast opera music blasting away in the background, would be more interesting than some of the shit that's playing at these places.

Staying with entertainment, football season is back which would mean I must finally get that fridge I need for match food and drink. All to keep me in shape. A shape named blob. It's all good though.
That's a funny thought. Fat people might go earlier, but they go after years and years of amazing meals and complete sloth. The in-shape fellows live a few years longer, but they don't eat right! What's life without your chocolate highs and milkshake bellies? They must all be so sad inside. I pity them.

Ah yes, what is it with people anyway? There's this poor fellow lugging around this massive thing. People just stand and watch, like it's bloody TV! Everything is fucking entertainment, isn't it? From a fight on the road, to what exactly your neighbours are upto, to that 'strange' fellow who lives there at the end of your street. People always want this useless entertainment to enrich their lives. Take a holiday, you bleeding ignoramus. Go on vacation, do some snorkelling. See what life is about, make your miserable life interesting on your own. Don't depend on the antics or real-life drama that society provides. People. hah. Bunch of bastards.

I hate to dwell on something after I think I'm finished, but people! argh! It's half past two in the night you blathering little monkey. Get your bloody friends out of your bloody car and stop slamming the futhermugging doors! Don't act like you don't understand it's late. You can't be that stupid. You will be if I have to come down to shut you up though. Screechy little tit. People. bah.
Sigh. Told you, age is beginning to show. When you're annoyed with the young 'uns for having fun, you know it's finally the beginning of the end.

Things are looking up nowadays as things begin to settle down. Things is going to have one hell of a bad neck with all the looking up while settling down, but you can't explain stuff like this to things. He just refuses to listen. Stupid things.

On to more serious matters, have you ever eaten italian food so bad that it's actually made every italian food you've eaten since taste just a little bit like dying? It's terrible. It's like a part of my soul has been ripped out. If I can not enjoy italian food anymore, that's just one less reason to live, really.

So what's up with you? How goes the life, the lack of life, the love life, the other crap, how goes everything? It was friendships day about a week back and the gayest of my friends said hello. How gay? If you never find out, you're lucky. So, cheers to you, wherever you are right now, my gay friend! Rock out with your cock out! (Do be careful though. It can be painful sometimes.) Oh Yeah!
Right, it's almost time for my sorrowful but unavoidable departure. As always, my thanks and unconditional love go to TGOTI (The God On The Internets. Long story, I'll explain later.), to the bestest one of them all and to the bestest dog in the world too! Before I go, I leave you with this command! Watch one of the classic funny movies from your childhood with someone your age. Mine would include Baby's Day out, Home alone, Dunstin checks in, dennis the menace, that movie with the coke bottle and the dude who runs a lot among some others. Do it and I shall continue to grace your life with my wisdom.
Alright then, take care fellas. It's been grand! Thanks for sticking around. Have a good week. Love to the loved ones (you!), indifference to the rest. Peace out! Peas out? Pass out! Woo!