Pick up lines that work

Lines that worked for me :

Want to make babies?

Did you shave your legs recently? They look wonderfully smooth. Could you take your pants off for me, please?

Hi, I have a penis!

Hi. Do you have a penis? No? Want to hang out?

I got paid today. Want to have sex?

You don't know me, but I've been watching you for a few months now. Would you like a ride home? I know where you live.

So, do you like guys who have no money?

My friends think I'm funny. Would you like to meet them?

I'm blinded by your radiant beauty. Thank god they say love is blind. (and then whip out a fork and stab your own eyes out. Guaranteed pity sex!)

Could I cop a feel of your breasts? They've been calling out to me all night long!

Could I interest you and your friends in some Rohypnol?

Could you take a sip of this? Tell me if you think it tastes strange.

Lines that would work on me :

Hi.

Do you have the time?

Waiter, could I have another drink please?

Go away.

Got a light?

Your friend is cute.

I'll be yours for 200.

I'm warning you, I have pepper spray.

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Caution:
*Use of these lines without correct supervision may cause problems such as unexpected pregnancy, jail time, child birth, unwanted relationships, marital problems, drug use, headache, insomnia, memory loss, hair fall, dizziness, pneumonia, cancer, aids, death, possibly hunger(careful!).
Understand that I cannot be held responsible for any or all of these unless I am supervising the delivery of the lines.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Ah, Saint Valentine's Day.
And what a perfect day for the day of love.
The sun is a shining, the flowers are a blooming, the birds are a singing, this ice-cream is a bysmal, there's a spring in my step and I've never felt more alive.
There's a lot of people who think V-Day is just another day. Nothing special, no real reason to celebrate love. But they don't understand love. I do, because I have you.
You make my life special, you make this day special for me and hopefully I do for you.
People might look at us strangely when we walk together, hand-in-hand (like lovers are supposed to), in public parks or when we whisper silly nothings to each other. People glare at us, probably with jealousy, when we share lust filled kisses, but I don't care. I love you with all of my heart and I know you do me.
I'd give my right arm to get you back if I ever lose you.
You're my lover and my right hand man.
Without you, I'm just a one-handed man in a two-handed man's world.
I love you, Mr. Hand. You complete me.

So here's to us.
Here's to a great valentine's day and a lifetime full of warmth and happiness together.

Signed,
Your one and only.
Forever and ever.
- the rest of my body.


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For all those with real reason to celebrate this day, I'd pray for your rotten souls to go to hell, but I'm off God for a while. So I'll just hope you get crabs or something. Happy VD!.