The truth and nothing butt!

Okay, since one of my genius friends (You know who you are.) decided it would be a good idea to tell my parents about this blog, I figure it won't be long before they read all the crap that's on this page.
Therefore...

1. When I added the B and M to 'ARMADA' on the cover of my notebook back in class 8, I honestly did not know what a BarMadam was. (And frankly I'm surprised you made that connection!)
I was doodling around during Social Studies class when I added the B to 'ARMADA' to make 'BARMADA' which sounded terribly funny. Like something an underwear would say if it could talk (bermuda chaddies?). And then I thought to myself "You know what'd make this talking underwear even funnier...If it added an 'M' to the end of that word to make 'BARMADAM'. Then it would have it's own little rhythm to sing later. Barmadam barmadam barmadam." (say it 10 times nonstop).

2. That thing with the little hole burnt into my pants really was a lab experiment gone bad. Parag thought it would be really hilarious if my pants were to catch fire during one of the chemistry lab experiments. So he started flinging lit matches at me. Thankfully pant material isn't very flammable, and I survived that incident without too much psychological or physical damage.
So, No, I did NOT try to smoke a cigarette and then stub it out on my pants!

3. That long list of vases and other fragile things that I broke while running/playing inside the house...well, it's probably right.
You really should've known better though! Don't leave breakable stuff and a slightly mental 10 year old in the same house at the same time!

Jokes gone bad

Knock knock
Who's there?
It's me.
It's me who?
I'm me, goddammit! Open the fucking door. I really gotta pee.


The president of the USA, the Prime Minister of India and the Pakistani premier got together for dinner one night.
They discussed politics and left.


What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
A lawyer is human. A leech is a worm.


Interviewer: what is your birth date?
Sardar: 11 October
Interviewer: Which year?
Sardar: 1970


Why did the chicken cross the road?
Oh, fuck you!

Sigh!

Sighin' in the rain?

If only I'd been there!
I'd have smacked Gene Kelly in the face with that big black umbrella of his.

"No more happy refrains out of you! Now wipe that silly smile off your face and get out of the rain before you get struck by lightning."