Reflection...

A couple of years back, I decided to run through each of the seven deadly sins.
In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have started with 'Sloth'.

Today's Lech.

Took Grampa to the Clinic today for a checkup thing. Regular stuff, nothing to worry about.
Saw lots of army peoples. Always fun to watch army peoples. Especially army peoples socialising.
So while I was lazing about in the waiting room, this young lady, (a really amazingly pretty lady btw!) recognized an old couple who had just walked in. Young lady goes up to them and starts off a conversation:

Young Lady : Good Afternoon Aunty, how're you doing.
Old Lady: Oh, Hi beta. I'm fine, how are you?
YL: Fine aunty, how are you uncle? (looks at Old Gent)
Old Gent: Uh?
YL: Hi Uncle, how are you?
OG: Uh?
YL: Hi Uncle, how are you? (10 points for some awesome patience)
OG: Oh, hello beta. You're looking so beautiful I didn't even recognise you (20000 points for that comeback)
YL: (super cute giggle) (40000 points for not flinching at that questionable compliment and 5000 for that giggle.) (Can you tell I was in love with her already?)

Blah blah for 10 minutes about trivial topics like 'What are you doing here', 'How is so and so', etc. Mostly between YL and OL. OG was looking rather bored at this point.

OG decides to interrupt the boring conversation with: Beta, you've been in my prayers.
YL: That means so much to me, uncle. (1 million points for not saying 'WTF')
YL: Please keep me in your prayers uncle (giggle) (another million for the giggle)

Goodbye's all around.
As soon as the super pretty young lady walks away with a tiny piece of my heart, Old Gent looks at his wife and asks in that special punjabi way "Kaun Thi?". I managed to stifle my laugh behind a magazine.

Great fun, these army people. They're so used to conversations that would make a normal person go "Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you!".
Most of them love talking, many come off as obnoxious prats, but are actually just really, really nice people who are a little loud.

For instance, this one guy who had just given his ID card to the person behind the counter realised that the print was too small. Counter person was struggling with the details, so this guy pulls out a very cool little card shaped thing with a magnifying lens in it. He gives it to the counter guy and says he's donating it to the clinic. Mighty nice of him and all.
But then he goes and says 'It costs 20 grand, but that doesn't matter'. Counter guy promptly shoves it back and says he can't accept it. Nice but loud guy says 'No, it's fine. I'm earning in lakhs anyway, it doesn't make a difference'.
Oh, Come on!!! Was that really necessary?
I don't really know how to judge that. On one hand, he's being really nice and truly altruistic.
On the other, he's announcing to everyone that he's being really nice and truly altruistic.

At the end of the day though, the clinic has something that'll help them, and considering the average age of the counter people there, I'm sure they wouldn't remember how they got the lens a week from now!
So good job, Mr Nice but slightly Loud Guy,
Good job, old couple for yet another successfully navigated conversation.
Goodbye, beautiful young lady. I do hope we meet sometime. In the meanwhile, If you could just lose a bit of weight, you'd be doing me and the entire community of lechers across the country a huge favour.
I miss you already.

Been there, Dead now, What next?

It's always been everyone's second favourite question, you know. Right after 'Why do I exist'.
I feel sorry for it sometimes, but really, it's got to understand. It's the last thing people should want to think about. I'm surprised it's so often asked.
So what does happens when you die? Everyone's thought about it. I used to, when I was younger. Had a whole lot of theories too. I never really thought about heaven and hell. I hadn't even heard of the concept until I started reading books.
Indian society is pretty cool that way. Children aren't frightened into being good. Imagine putting the fear of hell in a child. Tell them that if they're bad they'll go to hell when they die.
Hell - a terrible, hot, lawless land where you're pushed around and tortured for no reason at all.
That would never work on us Indian kids. We'd just turn around and say 'Hey, that sounds like here and now'.

Anyway, the various theories...

There was the 'Parallel Universe Theory' (I'd say multiverse, but then I'd go on a crazy DC comics buying spree again) where you are the centre of your universe and nothing bad can ever happen to you.
Then the 'Dream Theory', where as soon as you die, you wake up from this intricate dream which slips away within the next two minutes while you struggle to hold on to it.
And then the slightly nihilistic belief that everything just stops when you die.
Heaven..? Well, heaven always seemed like a really funny concept. You reward a few people with fuzzy white clouds and hovering angels dressed up in long, sexless white robes and playing tiny golden harps for eternity? I'd hate that. I need action. Give me electric guitars with the distortion cranked up, give me my black clothes and surround me with women of loose morals and low alcohol tolerances.

Oh well, here's to the old man across the street who shot at me with an air gun last year because he was drunk till next sunday thought I was a terrorist taking my terrorist dog for a walk.
Here's to that wonderfully mental maths teacher from school who taught us virtually nothing that nothing comes easy. Not even nothing.
Here's hoping you had a good time when you were around and so did the people around you.

Here's hoping there isn't an afterlife.