Saturday, 28 November 2009

Why do you women have it so easy!!!

So easy for you to find yourself a boyfriend.
All you have to do is be seen in public alone. A thousand guys will hit on you and you can pick your favourite.
You hardly ever need to pay cover charges to get into clubs or anything.
I've never seen a girl complain about a couples only entry.
It's hot when you check out other women. It's gross if a guy looks at other guys.
Getting a ride home is really easy.
Job interviews are a breeze with the right choice of clothes.
Since we're doing clothes...it's cool if you show off some cleavage, but when we take our fellows out for some air, we're likely to get arrested or injured.
It's so easy to get things when you use your body. Acting jobs, etc. Ever heard of a male casting-couch victim?
You always seem to know more than guys.
You know about the status of the relationship. The guy might be completely clueless about whether you two are a couple or not, but you know exactly what is going on, and you don't mind seeing him suffer while trying to figure it out.
You get to throw tantrums and make other people apologise even though you are wrong.
Only you know if you're going to be having sex later that night. The guy will just pray that he did everything right and hope for the best.
Ladies nights at pubs...need I say more?
Oh wait, I'm saying more...on a non-ladies night, if you're in a small group (less than four) of only females, there is a pretty good chance some guy will come over and ask you if he/his group could 'buy you ladies some drinks'
If you do any 'guy' things, you're awesome and hot and everyone wants to know you.
Things like riding a bike. It's bloody simple, but if a girl does it everyone is all "ooo, look at her go! It's so awesome she can ride a bike" Also applies to playing the guitar, eating loads of food and playing sports. But when a guy does a little crochet to make his bed-covers look nice, he's suddenly gay.

It's all about how society labels things.
We men must break the shackles of this woman-biased hypocritical world we live in!
Come, hold my hand and let us travel wearing pink clothes and remove this wool from over the eyes of all the bigots in the world. Let us be proud of our bodies and our various genitalia. Break out of the closet, break out the fruity cocktails with tiny umbrellas and keep your knitting needles handy so we can stick them into the eyes of anybody who mocks us.

(Drifted off a bit at the end there. Got to do this to confirm my complete heterosexuality...I want beer. Lets play football and bash in some heads afterwards. *Burp*!)

10 comments:

Sudarshana said...

What came over you Keshav? From when did you become a misogynist?

But, amazingly hilarious! (I'm not a feminist :P )

p.s- Please continue writing.

Abhirama said...

ah, finally. not quite what i expected but good to see u post. more often please.

tsp said...

Battle of the sexes and little Johnny wants to cry foul?

Naturally, it's men who are to blame for all this. We wanted control of everything so we never let the women get a piece of the pie. Had they got in on some of the action, they wouldn't have started all this silent takeover (coup?) in the first place.

It's all a hidden agenda son. They realize that they are irresistible. All the low blouses, the strong perfumes, the push-up bras, the mini skirts, the bikini waxes, just about every fashion accessory invented for women. Even fair fucking lovely. All part of the plan!

And we were too busy waving pricks = conquests, colonialism, invasions, wars, annexation, guns, communism, global warming and the Nobel Peace Prize for Barack Obama.

The revolution has overthrown us without us even noticing it. And now they get to act pricey? Bullshit! Not fucking happening.

Want to win the battle? Enter homosexuality. Eliminate one sex. The man's world is simpler and much more consistent. It's so much more easier to get what you want. Just drop a coin, bendover, eyes meet, BAM! Sex happens. (cf Stephen Fry - The Hippopotamus). And there's all the beer and the football too.

So punch the air with that clenched fist and show us that much needed support. Now go register freely at http://www.be-a-homosexual-today.org and win exciting prizes. Four nights stay at the Lusty Lady in the City of Sin - Las Vegas.

venkata raghavan said...

I read this one quote long time back , somehow it just got stuck in my head :- "The so-called weaker sex is actually the stonger sex because the weakness of the stronger sex is the weaker sex". Fits here.
All part of the plan as frust-boy tsp says.

Anonymous said...

True, yet not quite so. They only have the power because we hand it to them. Willingly. Because a part of our hormone raged selves wants to give somebody special attention.

Get a life d00d. Or a girlfriend.

hydeous said...

I don't remember handing anyone any power!
Yet again I'm forced to live with the mistakes made by others of my generation. Sigh.
Anyway, everyone seems to be telling me to get a life/girlfriend nowadays. I wonder if they come together in a combi-pack or something? Will find out.
Right, I'm off to the super-market now. Got to buy:
1 Number Life for myself
1 Number Girlfriend (check if they have deals that bundle the girlfriend with the life)
1 Number large bag of peanuts.

Anyone else want anything?
Alternate life? New lifestyle? Temporary/Backup Girlfriend/Boyfriend? Sense of humour? ToothPaste?

Srikanth said...

@keshav - as promised I am using your full name..
Hillarious post man!! PLease have an email trigger to my ID. I always read you posts after a month after you post it.. and miss out on all the fun..

Srikanth said...

@ Anonymous -

"They only have the power because we hand it to them. Willingly. Because a part of our hormone raged selves wants to give somebody special attention. "....


hahaha!! you are living in the matrix child!!

It's time we got you out of your illusion!! :P

Abhirama said...

Wah! Read it again today. awesome stuff!

hydeous said...

hah, how about that.
Apparently they do come together. Not exactly a combi-pack, but pretty close, yeah.